Wildlife Art

Here's the high spot of the art year in London for anyone interested in painting, wildlife and saving money. The David Shepherd Wildlife Foundation presents Wildlife Artist of the Year 2012 & Wildlife Art Exhibition at the Mall Galleries from Tuesday 22 May to Saturday 26 May (CLICK). Admission is free. All profits from the sale of paintings will support David Shepherd Wildlife Foundation projects in the field. Above is a detail from Oxpecker Ride by Claire Harkness.

Photo Gallery GIFs

The Photographers’ Gallery, newly extended at a cost of over £9m, reopens tomorrow with two exhibitions (CLICK) and The Wall. The latter is a unique space for screen media and digital images. Its inaugural display celebrates the animated GIF, created in 1987, which brought the illusion of movement to previously static images. Back in those days I was having fun creating palette-cycling images on my Atari ST using Degas Elite. Sadly, the graphic shown here isn't a GIF, but a static JPG. CLICK for an animated GIF library with over 5000 free images. Occasionally I use Microsoft GIF Animator, a freebie still kicking around today. Google for it and have fun.

Emily Mary Lamb

This gorgeous young lady is The Hon. Emily Mary Lamb at the age of 16, painted by Sir Thomas Lawrence in 1803. She became a leading society hostess and one of the political bigwigs of her day. This beautiful portrait by one of Britain's finest artists has been acquired by the National Gallery in London, under the Acceptance in Lieu scheme, and has been put on public display in Room 34, entry free. CLICK to read more about Sir Lawrence and his young sitter on the gallery's website. CLICK for a larger picture. Note: I've tweaked the gamma and contrast settings on this image to "clean" it.

Donna Summer RIP

Both the BBC (CLICK) and The Telegraph (CLICK) have posted photo tributes to Donna Summer, "the queen of disco", whose death from cancer at the age of 63 was announced today. Above is the cover of her album Crayons (2008).

The Queen at NPG

If you're not already sick of all the humbug surrounding the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, you might like to be reminded that The Queen: Art and Image opened at the National Portrait Gallery in London today (CLICK). I mentioned this touring exhibition earlier this month and showed the most original portrait in the show (CLICK). The painting here is Lucian Freud's Queen Elizabeth II (2001), which must be the worst portrait in the show. It's amazing that once an artist has established a reputation his work can degenerate into the most appalling rubbish without anyone daring to say so. The Anti-art Establishment raises him above criticism and any tripe he creates is a work of genius. Not in my book.

The Sword

Today the Wallace Collection in London opened The Noble Art of the Sword: Fashion and Fencing in Renaissance Europe, which lunges and parries until 16 September. Admission is free (CLICK). A complimentary exhibition runs alongside it: Making the Renaissance Sword, also free (CLICK). The painting shows a Swordsmith at work. Also to compliment the exhibition, there are special events on Saturday 26 May, including sword fighting demonstrations, also free and fit for boys of all ages. If you ever wanted to know what spreszzatura means, now is your chance (CLICK).

A New Banksy?

This stencilled graffito of a Boy Sewing (real bunting) has appeared on the wall of a Poundland store on Whymark Avenue, Wood Green, north London. The BBC dragged in a professor to confirm it was a Banksy (CLICK)! I checked Banksy's website, and it hasn't appeared there (CLICK). Yet. I'll stick with Gromit for sewing bunting (CLICK).

Scotch Tape Winner

In case you were wondering, the winner of the Scotch Tape Off the Roll sculpture contest 2012 is Jake Longenecker from Manheim, Pennsylvania, with his Free Fallin'. He wins the first prize of $5,000. CLICK for The Telegraph slide show.

Larry at No 10

Robbed!

Biennale Tosh

Why do we leave it up to the Arts Council, which knows nothing about visual art, to select the purported artist to represent Britain at the Venice Biennale? Its choice for 2013 is Jeremy Deller, infamous for his bouncy Stonehenge called Sacrilege (2012). I'm not sure where the sacrilege comes in, maybe claiming this bouncy inflatable is a work of art. Fun for kiddies big and small certainly, but art? Since 1938 the Arts Council has been commissioning embarrassing tosh for the Biennale (CLICK). It is high time we found a judging panel that knows something about art.

Watts Gallery

Watts Gallery in the village of Compton, near Guildford, Surrey, has made it on to the shortlist for the 10th annual Art Fund Prize, worth £100.000 (CLICK). The gallery, which is dedicated to the art of Victorian painter George Frederic Watts, reopened last year after a £10m restoration. The others shortlisted are the Hepworth Wakefield, the Scottish National Portrait Gallery and Exeter's Royal Albert Memorial Museum and Art Gallery. The winner will be announced on 19 June. Tip: the day to visit Watts Gallery is a Tuesday, when entry is only £2, instead of £6.50 (CLICK).

Louise Giblin

From 21 to 26 May the Mall Galleries in London will show Louise Giblin – Body Casting Olympians (CLICK). Why would anyone want to body cast an olympian? For a start, he or she should represent the peak of physical fitness and musculature. Louise creates metal sculptures from the casts. Here is her Beth Tweddle Rear View from her Olympian Series II. She donates the proceeds from these olympian sculptures to the Headfirst charity. Sculptures and drawings from her new Meta-Human Series will also be shown. Entry is free. CLICK to visit her website.

Rihanna Croc

Here's another of those examples of art where you least expect it. Rihanna has posted stills of herself on her Facebook page showing her getups for her latest video Where Have You Been. She had her bare breasts painted to look like crocodile skin, spine too. Then she emerges from a swamp as a pop version of The Creature From The Black Lagoon (1954). Then she's prancing in a desert. Then it's back to the swamp. Ho hum. Silly video; tedious music for hardcore fans (CLICK if you must).

Gormely in Brazil

Antony Gormely is still inflicting body casts of his naked self upon an unsuspecting world. What an ego! His latest casts are on a tall building in Sao Paulo, Brazil. As usual - except in the Alps - firefighters have been called to the scene because bystanders fear the casts are potential jumpers intending to commit suicide. The local press have nicknamed the casts "suicide statues" (CLICK). Gormley reminds me of Lady Bracknell's response to Jack's admission that he smokes, "That is well. A man should always have an occupation" (Oscar Wilde: The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895).

Charlotte Barbour-Condini

This evening I watched the semi final of the BBC Young Musician of the Year 2012. An hour an a half swept past like an express train. What talent, what performances, from all five teenagers! However, only one of them made me want to rush out and buy a CD: 15-year-old Charlotte Barbour-Condini playing that common and maligned instrument the recorder. Watch the YouTube video (bottom right corner to expand). The final is on BBC Two on Sunday at 6pm (CLICK).

Edward Lear

The Telegraph and Google are celebrating the 200th anniversary of the birth of Edward Lear, famous for his nonsense poem The Owl And The Pussycat (CLICK). I wasn't aware of it, but Lear was a very talented young artist, being paid for his work by the age of 16. He was employed by the Zoological Society of London as an ornithological artist. Above is his superb painting of an Eagle Owl. He was still only 19 when he published his first book: Illustrations of the Family of Psittacidae (Parrots). For 4 years he worked for the Earl of Derby, painting the Earl's menagerie (CLICK).
Update: today a plaque to honour Edward Lear was unveiled at 15 Stratford Place in Westminster, London, where he lived from 1853 until 1869 (CLICK).

Buttocks Fashion

One finds art in the strangest of places. Here's a novel way of emphasizing female buttocks, not that they need emphasizing in Britain, which has the fattest bums in Europe, almost as flabby as Yankee bums. But this is the Bogota Fashion Circle in Colombia. The dress and handbag is by Colombian designer Marta Arredondo, part of her new collection based on Wayuu Indian culture. Fashion note: silly stockings are the in thing in Bogota this season (CLICK).

ArcelorMittal Orbit

When I first saw this artist's impression of the ArcelorMittal Orbit I hoped it was an April Fool's gag, but no. It was officially "unveiled" to the media today (CLICK). The BBC reporter took great pains to emphasize that this monstrosity is a work of art, because it was designed by that Royal Academician Anish Kapoor, but more honest commentators described it as "a cheese grater", "an obnoxious statement", "a catastrophic collision between two cranes" and "the Eiffel Tower after a nuclear attack". I'm sure east enders will simply call it "The Arse". £15 to ascend this thing! No way.

Mayan Murals

Archaeologists working in Guatemala have discovered the first known Mayan murals painted on the interior walls of a room. They look quite sophisicated too. Other finds in the room include the oldest-known Mayan astronomical tables, dating from the 9th Century (CLICK). The dig at Xultun was financed by National Geographic (CLICK for a photo tour).

Call For Entries

The National Portrait Gallery in London has issued a call for entries to the Taylor Wessing Photographic Portrait Prize 2012. The competition is open to anyone aged 18 and over from around the world. Applications must be received in advance, either online or by post, by 23.59 on Monday 9 July. Above is last year's winning photo by Jooney Woodward, showing 13-year-old Harriet Power holding her cavy Gentleman Jack in the guinea pig judging area at the Royal Welsh Show. CLICK to visit the NPG Photo Prize website and watch out for two more of my favourites: Tatiana and Belene by Yann Gross (2011), which shows a rare flash of humour, and Keira Knightley by Michael Birt (2010).

Snuff The Pig?

Sir Terry Pratchett's 39th Discworld novel - the 9th City Watch story - Snuff has been shortlisted for the 13th Bollinger Everyman Wodehouse Prize for Comic Fiction (CLICK). This is Sir Terry's fourth nomination; he missed out thrice. Just to keep you bedazzled with statistics, Snuff is the third fastest selling novel in the UK since records began; it sold over 55,000 hardback copies in the first three days. As usual, the cover artwork is by Paul Kidby, who perfectly captures the madcap, tongue-in-cheek world of the Disc. Upon the winning book is bestowed the honour of having a Gloucestershire Old Spot pig named after it. Snuff the pig? The paperback comes out on 7 June.

Feldmann's David

While visiting the website of the Serpentine Gallery - something I rarely do, because most of the contemporary works it shows are rubbish - I chanced upon Hans-Peter Feldmann's lurid version of Michelangelo's David (2011). A genuine blond, eh? Biblical news. The Serpentine's retrospective Hans-Peter Feldmann is his first solo presentation in a London public gallery. More interesting than the average Serpentine doodah, it continues until 5 June (CLICK for more photos). Seems to be a freebie.

Serpentine Pavilion

London's Serpentine Gallery has released this artist's impression of the Serpentine Gallery Pavilion 2012, designed by Herzog & de Meuron & the ubiquitous Ai Weiwei (CLICK). It looks like an ice-skating rink on top of a cafeteria to me. Boring. Weiwei fans might be interested to learn that his design firm, Beijing Fake Cultural Development Ltd, has filed a lawsuit against the No. 2 Inspection Squad of the Beijing tax bureau for violating Chinese laws (CLICK).

The Tulip Folly

Here's a painting by Jean-Léon Gérôme I didn't know existed, because The Tulip Folly (1882) is buried in the Walters Art Museum in Baltimore, Maryland, USA. (Early tulip varieties were to die for; they attracted astronomical prices and unscrupulous bulb thieves, a bit like Picasso's tripe today.) This oil painting is one of more than 19,000 images of artworks, together with related information, the museum has donated to Wikimedia for unrestricted use in the public domain with freely licensed educational content in any language (CLICK). Nice one, Walters.

Fanny Claus Update

I reported the UK government's export ban on Edouard Manet's Portrait of Mademoiselle Claus (1868) last February (CLICK). The Ashmolean Museum in Oxford wants to buy it for £7.8m. The latest news is that the museum has received a £5.9m donation from the Heritage Lottery Fund. This is on top of £750,000 from The Art Fund and £200,000 from private individuals (CLICK). So, it's almost in the bag. The rest must be found by 7 August or Fanny goes to a foreign buyer for £28.35m.

Frieze Hits New York

London's Frieze Art Fair hit New York this weekend, housed in a 250,000-square-foot tent on Randalls Island, and BBC News has posted a video of the show (CLICK). The so-called "art" for people with more money than sense is mostly what you would expect: pretentious tripe. This weird vehicle - artist unknown - is the only aesthetically pleasing thing I saw.

Gary Taxali

If immortality doesn't appeal to you (it must get boring after a few centuries, even if you have got 60 virgins to tantalize you with their forbidden and impossible fruits) you might enjoy the simple, amusing work of one of America's foremost contemporary pop artists. Gary Taxali | My Feelings Like You opened recently at The Outsiders gallery in Greek Street, London, and runs till 2 June. Gary has won over 500 industry awards. This is his first solo art show in the UK. Shown is his Jail Time. CLICK for The Outsiders website and more of Gary's work.

Immortality Free

Less than a month after it lost 18 Chinese artifacts in a burglary (CLICK, CLICK) the Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge has opened The Search for Immortality: Tomb Treasures of Han China, which features over 300 treasures in jade, gold, silver, bronze and ceramics in the most important exhibition of ancient royal treasures ever to travel outside China. Let's hope security has been improved! Above is a Jade Coffin, Western Han Dynasty (2nd century BC). This free exhibition is part of the London 2012 Festival and is supported by the profligate fat cats of the Arts Council (CLICK), but don't let either of these facts put you off. CLICK to learn more. The exhibition has its own dedicated website, but it's one of those clever-dick jobs which produce error messages and take ages to load. I gave up.

Spencer Painting Theft

Last week a thief broke into the Stanley Spencer Gallery in Cookham, Berkshire, cut this oil painting from its frame and made off with it: Sir Stanley Spencer's Cookham From Englefield (1948). It was on loan to the museum. Its private owner, Sue Elsden, is devastated by the loss and has appealed for its return (CLICK). The painting measures 3ft by 2ft and is worth about £1m. The Stanley Spencer Gallery website has details and contact numbers (CLICK).

American Landscape

Here's another summery exhibition to cheer us up. From 10 May to 25 November the British Museum in London will be hosting North American Landscape: Kew at the British Museum. This free botanical display will allow you to "Travel up from the Florida swamps, through the Missouri prairie to the forests of New England and Canada". Plantings will include colourful daisies, maples, lupins, echinacea, orange coneflowers, black walnut, tulip tree and even carnivorous pitcher plants. Shown is Perennial Lupin (Lupinus perennis) with a bumblebee. CLICK to find out more.

The Four Seasons

What a dreary May bank holiday! It's more like February. So here's a summery thought to cheer us up. From 20 June to 16 September the gardens of the Dulwich Picture Gallery in London will exhibit four 15-foot-high fibreglass sculptures by Philip Haas, inspired by Giuseppe Arcimboldo's The Four Seasons. Giuseppe (1527-1593) painted fantastical "portraits" made of fruits, fungi, vegetables, flowers, fish and books. Shown is his Winter (1573) owned by the Musée du Louvre in Paris. CLICK to view his Complete Works website. Entry to the Dulwich Picture Gallery's permanent collection is £5 for adults, £4 for silver surfers (CLICK). Special exhibitions cost more.

Jubilee Bunt-a-thon

To mark the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, Aardman Animations has created a one-minute Wallace and Gromit film called A Jubilee Bunt-a-thon (2012). I guess that's one second for every year of the Queen's reign. Nick Park created this new animation for the National Trust, which will show it at some of its properties during tea parties on 4 June. It took 30 people 3 months to complete the 1-minute movie. CLICK for the National Trust. CLICK for a BBC slide show.

Vollard Suite

The British Museum in London opened two free art exhibitions on Thursday: Picasso Prints: The Vollard Suite (example shown) and Modern Chinese Ink Paintings. The museum recently acquired a complete set of Picasso’s Vollard Suite, 100 etchings produced by Picasso between 1930 and 1937. This is the only museum in the UK to hold a complete set. The 40 Chinese ink paintings are from the last 100 years, including five "monumental" contemporary works by Liu Dan. CLICK to see all the free exhibitions and displays coming up at the British Museum.

Star Wars Art

Did you know that today is George Lucas's birthday? To celebrate this fact the Generation Gallery in Manchester opened an exhibition of the Star Wars official fine art collection, approved by LUCASfilm. These paintings aren't always what you'd expect. Above is Peter De Sève's Easy Be, which depicts Kermit the frog fishing with Yoda. The show lasts for three weeks. If you live in Manchester, CLICK for the Generation Gallery. If not, CLICK for a slide show.

Jersey Gives Holo

A copy of Chris Levine's holographic portrait of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, commissioned by the Jersey Heritage Trust to mark 800 years of allegiance to the Crown, will be donated to the National Portrait Gallery in London by Jersey's government (CLICK). Originally the work was entitled Lightness of Being (CLICK). It seems to have been renamed Equanimity. It will be featured in The Queen: Art and Image at the National Portrait Gallery from 17 May to 21 October to mark Her Majesty's Diamond Jubilee. Tickets cost £6 for adults, £5.50 for silver surfer (CLICK).

Da Vinci Anatomist

Above is a message from The Queen's Gallery, Buckingham Palace. I previewed this landmark exhibition Leonardo da Vinci: Anatomist back in January (CLICK). Art lovers who can't make it to the exhibition may be interested to know that Touch Press LLP has created an iPad that "brings Leonardo's work to life". It's available to download from the iTunes App Store, priced £9.99 ($13.99): CLICK to view it. CLICK to watch a video of the new app with more details.

London Rats

Today I had a desperate plea from the Boris Johnson mayoral campaign warning me that Hugo Chavez, Lee Jasper, George Galloway, Bob Crow and Lutfur Rahman all want Ken to win. (Red Ken, that is.) It's neck-and-neck, scream the headlines. Sorry, Boris; I don't care for scaremongering. Put down those Cheeky Girls and give me one reason I should for vote for any of the fat cats on offer. You're all a waste of space. Not one of you mentioned the plague of brown rats in London.

Bauhaus at Barbican

Today the Barbican Art Gallery opened Bauhaus: Art as Life, which limps along until 12 August. It's billed as "the biggest Bauhaus exhibition in the UK in over 40 years" and it doesn't take long to see why! This show is for punters hooked on tubular and/or stackable furniture. The Bauhaus design school was way ahead of the pack where furniture was concerned, but as an art movement it fell flat on its face. Look at Kurt Schmidt's hideous Little Hunchback Puppet (1923) and despair. £10 for this? Gimme a break, Barbican. I wouldn't visit this show if it were free (CLICK).

Scream Fetches £74m

Edvard Munch's pastel version of The Scream (1895) has become the world's most expensive artwork sold at auction. An anonymous buyer shelled out $119.9m (£74m) for it at Sotheby's in New York (CLICK). A fool and his money.... Think of all the starving children who could be fed with such a large sum of money.

Jade Thefts Arrests

Yesterday evening BBC One's Crimewatch programme showed CCTV images of four men wanted in connection with the theft of 18 jade artifacts from the Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge last month. Today detectives arrested a 28-year-old man and 15-year-old boy at addresses in east London. Other addresses are also being searched (CLICK).

Sketches of The Queen

BBC News is giving the Royal Society of Portrait Painters Annual Exhibition lots of publicity lately. First it posted Jemma Phipps' new portrait of The Duke of Edinburgh I posted recently (CLICK). Now it has posted a slide show of previously unseen preparatory sketches of The Queen that will be displayed in the exhibition at Mall Galleries, which opens tomorrow (CLICK). This painted sketch is by Michael Noakes. It's better than many a finished portrait.

Nude Display

If you lack artistic talent you can always take a leaf out of Urs Fischer's book and hire a nude model to sprawl in the middle of your latest installation thingy (CLICK). Madame Fisscher caused a stir at the Palazzo Grassi in Venice (2012).

Charity Auctions

It must be the charity season for auction houses in London. Bonhams in Knightsbridge will auction items on behalf of the NSPCC on 17 May, including this photo of Kate Moss taken by Norwegian fashion photographer Sølve Sundsbø and donated by the model herself (CLICK). This Thursday evening 3 May Christie’s will host The Crisis Commission Gala Auction at King Street (CLICK). Some of the UK's worst artists have donated to this auction. Yinka Shonibare's Homeless Man (2012) seems to have been created specifically for the auction (inset). Nice of him.

Turner Shortlist 2012

Tate has announced the shortlist for that national joke the Turner Prize (CLICK). This year's "shortlsited" (sic) artists are: Lali 'Spartacus' Chetwynd, Luke Fowler, Paul Noble, and Elizabeth Price. Above is Chetwynd's life-sized Jabba the Hutt from Star Wars with scantily dressed models performing for her piece An Evening with Jabba the Hutt, which dates back to 2004. Groan!
Note: I have emailed Tate about its typo. Corrected already.